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When You're in a Rut


When You're in a Rut

Sometimes things get really hard. Especially as a parent, especially in a global

pandemic and its aftermath. This is especially true for parents of children with

ADHD, anxiety, and other behavioral and emotional disorders, because these

tend to be really intense kids to parent, so much so that friends and family

often are blissfully ignorant of just how hard it is behind the scenes.

As a psychologist who works with kids, it’s not uncommon for parents to

come to me at their wits’ end. If you sometimes find yourself thinking, “I don’t

want to be so angry with my child all the time, I know I need to be more

patient, it’s just emotionally really hard for me to do that right now,” know

that a) you’re not alone, and b) that’s a really good starting point. When we

make the unconscious conscious—when we realize what we need to do, even

if we’re not able to do it yet—we have planted the seeds of change.

Recognizing that something needs to change is more than half the battle.

Many parents come to me looking for tips and techniques to help change

their child’s behavior. Naturally, parents get frustrated by continued

misbehavior and want that behavior to change. What I try to help parents

realize, though, is: “I can only control myself, and maybe it’s actually me who

needs to change.” A lot of parents get in a rut—where the littlest thing your

child does will set you off, or where you’re just seething with anger and

resentment. Those phases are the ones where we’re usually most desperate

for our kid’s behavior to change.


But it's important to remember that it’s not fair for you to expect your child to

be the one to initiate the improvement in your relationship. As the adult and

the caregiver, it’s up to you to recognize when your connection with your

child is strained and go about building it back up. This can be especially hard

if you yourself were parented harshly or if you carry your own trauma. But you

can do hard things!


Let’s imagine for a second that there’s a mother who, after going through a

particularly rough patch with her daughter, realizes she is in a rut as a parent

and decides to break out of it. She knows it will be hard but she does it

anyway and comes out the other side a more compassionate, patient, and

understanding parent, with a stronger connection to her child. This is how

she might describe that journey:


“I knew I needed to start by working to change how I was labeling my

daughter’s behavior in my own mind. I realized I was doing a lot of blaming

her for her behavior and resenting her for how she changed our lives. I vowed

to myself to change my internal monologue and started saying things to

myself like, ‘She’s not giving me a hard time, she’s having a hard time’ and

‘This is harder for her than it is for me.’ I started repeating mantras like that to

myself, to help myself change the lens I used to view my child.


I then sat down and consciously listed the positive things about my child.

Since they weren’t coming easily to mind in that moment, I resorted to listing

things she wasn’t doing wrong that could be going worse. Like: not slamming

the door, not hurting the animals, not running in the street. Once I did that, I

noticed that she was actually doing positive things, I was just stuck in such a

negative rut with her that it was hard to see it. On hard days when it was

tough to find anything positive, I looked in on her when she was sleeping, I

looked at pictures of her as a baby, or I reflected on particularly treasured

memories. On those days, I needed to do anything that could get me in a

place of being able to connect with the love and care I have for her and to

help put me in a positive mindset about her.



The next thing I did was to start pointing out the positive things out loud to

my child: ‘Catching her doing something right.’ I needed to deliberately find

positive things to notice out loud to her so she could start feeling better about

herself, because me jumping on her every time she made a mistake was

certainly not helping either of us. I started saying things like, ‘I know things

have been tough at school, but at least you’re going. I really appreciate that,

because it must take a lot of courage to face walking into that building every

day.’ Or I noticed little things: ‘Thanks for going to bed when I asked, even

though you probably didn’t want to.’ I tried to find things to appreciate: ‘I’m

glad I get to drive you to school every day. I look forward to being in the car

with you for these 20 minutes every day.’ Or things from a while ago: ‘I was

thinking today about our trip to Yellowstone that summer when you were 5.

We had so much fun! I still smile whenever I think about you and that

squirrel!’ Even if there wasn’t a lot to praise, I tried to notice the absence of

negative things: ‘Hey, buddy, I just wanted to thank you for not slamming the

door when you came in. I appreciate that.’ Sometimes I would just focus on

arranging my face from a scowl into a smile and saying a genuine ‘thank you’

when she would pass me something at the dinner table or a ‘Hey! Glad you’re

home!’ when she first came home from school.


This was hard for me when I first started it, because the relationship with my

daughter had gotten to a really bad place and I was carrying so much

resentment. I needed to process that in my own therapy, and that freed me

up to focus on pointing out the positive with her. I started by trying to make 3

positive statements to hear each day. It was hard! But gradually I increased it

to 5, and then 10. Then I switched it up so that with every demand or criticism,

I made sure to make 5 positive statements to balance it out.


Once, I had gotten into such a negative rut that I made myself not make any

demands or issue any criticisms for a whole day and just kept repeating to

myself, ‘All positive, all the time.’ It was eye-opening to me to realize how

negative I had become toward my child once I vowed to go a day without

saying anything negative to her. I started to realize how little positivity was

coming out of my mouth on a daily basis.


It was also important for me to work toward being genuine with my praise,

and in doing so I found that my feelings began to change. The more I looked

for positive things about my child, the more I found, and the more genuine I

could be in noting them. Catching her doing something right ended up

changing my perspective so much, because once I could really see her efforts,

even when they fell short, it was a game changer for me. Instead of criticizing

her for being loud, I commented on her enthusiasm. Instead of getting

annoyed at her hyperactivity, I praised her for being so energetic and athletic.

And then she started living up to it! Ultimately, there was nothing else that

was going to change the relationship other than me, and once I realized that

and started taking responsibility for setting a new tone, it was amazing to me

how quickly things turned into a positive snowball. I started using more

humor and we started being able to laugh together. At one point, my

daughter said something nice unprompted to me, which hadn’t happened in

months, and I realized that kids are little mimics and she just really needed

me to model kindness and positivity. I could literally see the change

happening in her in response to my efforts. She was becoming less negative,

less angry, and more open to me. It was like watching a drooping plant perk

up after getting the water it desperately needs. It didn’t solve everything, but

it was a starting point.


From there, I tried to make sure that every new day was a fresh start. I let go

of the frustrations from the day before, and every day tried to start the day off

positively. I bit my tongue when I was tempted to bring up past frustrations or

to make comments like ‘There you go again’ or ‘I’ve told you this a million

times.’ I made sure the slate was wiped clean and tried to catch myself when I

was getting down on her for things that happened in the past, things she had

no control over now.


Then I started going out of my way to spend time with my daughter doing

things we both enjoy. I hadn’t realized how much negative attention I was

giving her. It felt at the time like she got tons of attention. In fact, it felt like

she was an attention hog! But then I realized that so much of that was

scolding, correcting, and redirecting. She didn’t get much delight or

enjoyment from me. I don’t think she felt very valued or appreciated. I’m sure

I wasn’t showing her on a daily basis that I enjoyed her, because I was at a

point where even though I loved her very much, I didn’t always like her!

But that started to change when I started intentionally setting aside time to

do fun things together. We went fishing, we went out for hamburgers, we saw

Marvel movies. These were all things we both enjoyed, and I made sure to set

aside any frustrations that had been building and start fresh, enjoying each

outing and sharing my excitement with her—and my joy in being with her.

Even if I had to manufacture it a bit in the beginning, eventually I really did

start looking forward to spending that time together.


And it didn’t have to be big events or spending money on her. I started trying

to set aside 10 minutes each day just to give my attention to her fully,

proactively, and positively—no criticism, no teaching, no instructions. I’d let

her teach me a new video game she was obsessed with or show me a video

she liked. It didn’t matter what it was, the important thing was for me to set

aside the time in my own mind to just show up for her, with no agenda.

I also started looking for ways to be silly, to play. Sometimes in the crush of

work and parenting and keeping up the house, it was easy to be grim all the

time. I approached parenting the same way I approached a dentist

appointment—something to get through. But when I let go of some of the

unrealistic expectations I had for my daughter and for myself, it opened up

room for us just to be silly together. Instead of making demands, I turned

elements of our daily routine into a game. I took time to crank the music and

sing with her in the kitchen or have an impromptu dance party.


It wasn’t always a bed of roses, but when things started going better it was

easier to notice the progress we’d made. Then, I was able to notice when our

connection was getting frayed, and at those times I’d go out of my way to

double down on the relationship. If I noticed myself getting short with her, I’d

take some time out for myself—go on a walk, talk with a friend. Then I’d come

back and suggest something that could help us get reconnected. Maybe

tonight we can have dessert first! Maybe tonight we can take some time to

watch cat videos, even if it means all the homework doesn’t get finished!

Maybe tonight we can make sure we have 10 minutes to snuggle on the

couch before bedtime! All these little repairs went a long way to getting us

reconnected when we needed it.

Sometimes I had to fight back against my internal voice that said, ‘Don’t let

her get away with that!’ or ‘Don’t let her walk all over you!’ I started to realize

that a lot of that came from my own anxiety, of worrying about what would

happen when she gets to ‘the real world.’ But then I realized that she doesn’t

have to be in the real world yet—she’s still a kid. And borrowing that worry

from the future doesn’t help either of us. I need to parent this little person I

have right in front of me, right now.


Gradually I started to recognize those voices as echoes of my past—of

messages I had gotten about parenting that never served me very well, as a

parent or as a child! And gradually the voice that started to replace it

murmured, ‘She’s doing the best she can.’ Or, ‘You don’t make a child behave

better by making her feel worse.” Or, ‘Don’t take it personally.’ I started to have

more patience—with my daughter and with myself!


I look back from where I’m at now, and I can feel such compassion for where I

was then when I was in such a rut—when it just felt hard, hard, hard and it

didn’t feel like there was ever going to be anything past the hard. It is such a

lonely, hopeless place. But now that I have seen the benefits of helping my

daughter feel safe with me, helping her feel my delight in her, helping her feel

connected to me, I can see how important it is as a parent to shake myself out

of any rut I might be tempted to fall into.”



 


If it feels overwhelming to think about being the change you wish to see in

your relationship with your child, you may need to really be intentional about

filling your own cup first. In fact, I often recommend to parents who are very

stressed that the number one thing they can do as a parent is to focus on

taking care of themselves. As the flight attendants say, “Put on your own

oxygen mask first!” As much as possible, when things are hard for you as a

parent, you need to make it a priority to take care of yourself: go to therapy,

open up to a partner or friend and share your frustrations, make getting good

sleep a priority, go on a walk, eat well, spend time with friends who build you

up, take time alone. I will sometimes recommend to homeschooling parents

that they find a cooperative or trade child care with another homeschooling

family so that the homeschooling parent gets a regularly scheduled break,

because it’s not sustainable to be an on-call parent 24/7/365! Stop and think

about whatever it is that will help you replenish yourself, and make it a priority

so you can increase your reserves of patience and compassion and get out of

the ruts all parents find ourselves in.


 

Here are some mantras that may resonate for you (with credit to the collected

wisdom of the Facebook group Parenting with Connection):


· “Catch her doing something right.”

· “I can do hard things.”

· “Don’t react. Calm down, then respond.” Or, “Respond rather than react.”

· “Be the guide, not the judge.” Or, “Be the calm, not the storm.”

· “It’s not personal, it’s trauma.” Or, “It’s not personal, it’s brain wiring.”

· “Relationship is everything!”

· “Don’t sweat the small stuff. And it’s almost all small stuff.”

· “Kids do well if they can.” Or, “She would do better if she could.”

· “It’s my job to help her regulate.”

· “She’s afraid of failing” or “She’s feeling out of control.”

· “Hurting people hurt people.”

· “What is the why behind all this?”

· “QTIP: Quit taking it personally.”

· “Peace starts with me.”

· "It is not me against my child, but me and my child against their history (or

against the situation)."

· “It’s my job to share my calm, not join her chaos.”

· “Mad equals sad.”

· “I’m the adult: take the high road.”

· “It’s not all riding on you or this moment - just breathe.”

· “It’s dysregulation, not disrespect.”

· “Kids are bad at stuff” (LOL!)

· “It’s OK. I’m OK. There is no danger here.”

· “My child’s behavior is not a reflection of my parenting ability.”

· “She’s only eight.” “She’s only three.”

· “I’m on her team.”

· “You don’t make a child behave better by making her feel worse.”

· “My child isn’t giving me a hard time, she is having a hard time.”

· “Serenity now!” Or, “Just keep swimming”

· “The calmer I am, the more effective I’ll be”

· “Will this make my child feel safe, heard and precious?”

· “This moment matters.”

· “I am the adult. I need to be bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind.”

· “This is harder for my child than it is for me right now.”

· “She is not doing this to me.”

· “The responsibility to act like an adult in the parent/child relationship lies

100% with me.”

· “Every thunderstorm eventually runs out of rain.”

· “She’s not enjoying this. If she could do better, she would.”

· “I am her safe place.”

· “This, too, shall pass.”

· “Fix the problem, not the blame.”

· “Find the reason behind the behavior.”

· “Tomorrow is a new day.”

· “I am doing the best I can. That’s all anyone can do.”

· “Behavior = Communication.”

· “What’s the need that’s not being met?”

· “Let it go” (sung in Elsa’s voice!)

· “DARN: Deep breath, Ask curious questions, Remain calm, Need to find out

why.”

· “Set a beautiful example.”

· “She’s showing me right now how much she’s hurting.”

· “There’s power in the pause.”

· “Be the change I wish to see in my children.”

· “I only control me.”

· “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

· “Connect before you correct.”

· “Breathe deeply. Then do it again.”

· “Courage, dear heart.”


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